If I tell you what is the thing to grow up, I just say strict with yourself and nice to others.
It is very simple and everyone knows.

But do we really do it properly in our daily lives?
Don’t we always select the way easier and comfortable to us?

If we just let ourselves go with the flow without thinking, we usually get in the easy and comfortable situation without notice.

That’s the way it is as we avoid a hard thing and a tough situation which includes pain, shame, embarrassment consciously and unconsciously.
And we always choose easier way and comfortable friends and places.

But I have to say there is no growth as long as we always choose that comfortable situation.
Because it is already comfortable to you that means it is proper level for you, it is a just fit, not more.
You can grow up only when you challenge new things and upper level things that you have not accustomed to before.

Actually I’m not very positive or very sociable person.
Rather lazy and sometimes a bit introvert-sided person.

But because of that I often tried opposite things.
Because that’s the thing make me grow up and open the door to new world.

I sometimes joined the event no one knows or went to the bar alone when I get drunk very easily.
I knew I would be isolated from the first but that’s the thing I wanted to challenge.
If I go with my friends it is just comfortable and no progress.
Only by putting me into a tough situation I can grow myself up.

Travel around the world was also same to me.
I knew it is comfortable and easier if I travel each country with someone else but it doesn’t make me grow up.
As I expected I met with a hard situation and had to solve all the problem alone, actually I regretted having being alone when I was in a desperate situation at some points, but thanks to all of that, I acquired kind of self problem-solving skills and mental strength.

This is simple example but it is not only my experience but also most all of us’s.
Most all of us must have challenged something hard or beyond our skill at least one time whether it is very hard thing or not so hard thing in our lives.
When we overcame the challenge, we surely grew up since before.

Only when we try new thing or upper level which we think it might be beyond us, we can grow up.

I know it might be hard, embarrassing or being laughed at by others sometimes if you challenge new thing or not comfortable thing and got failure after all.

But that’s the thing let you open the new door and reach the new world.

Once you challenge it and get over it you are not you who used to be anymore.
You are more than that with new skill, knowledge and view.
You notice the world of you before were small and now the world is much wider than that.

I didn’t write about to be strict with yourself and to be nice to others above.
It is also same as we sometimes do opposite without notice.
Don’t we sometimes blame others or things when some uncomfortable things happened to us?

I say strict thing but please take all the blame by yourself first even if you think it is 99% not your fault.
Of course there are some exceptions for this but most of the cases people include I spoil ourselves and blame others and other things easily instead.
It takes too long if I write down the details of it that I write summary in the other article.

But those people who I think great never blame others even if it is not their fault and they handle the problem very well and make good end in the last.

Even same human and same situation, some people just shout, curse and make worse end while others make happy end each other.
The differences of them are only whether they are strict with themselves and nice to others or not.

If you want to grow up as a human, please always look inside you before blaming others and other things.
Most of the cases, you can find something wrong in you not only others’ if you give it a deeper thought from my experience.
When you are strict with yourself and are kind to others, you can grow up.
Challenge bravely and real kindness to others make you grow up and happier not only you but others around you.

But please don’t do it, I mean forcing you challenge too much as it also can be a double-edged sword to yourself sometimes.
And I don’t say or think negative or shy thing is a bad thing at all.
Or they often becomes strong point that opposite nature people don’t have.

I also don’t say to force you to challenge against your will.
It might sounds like paradox but no need to force you change for everything.
I want you to challenge the thing you want to challenge deep inside but you can’t do it as you feel it might be hard, being laughed at, etc.

Of course there might be failure, risk or being laughed at after all.
But what I really feel ashamed of is the mind we don’t challenge worrying about those things than the failure or laugh themselves.

The people who failed or being laughed at in the end is rather cool and respectful to me than the people who don’t act just worrying about trivial things.
And all of them never becomes real failure as it becomes important experiences to make you grow up.
The failure itself never becomes failure as long as you don’t give up.

If you want to open the new door in a positive mind and have enough energy to do it, that’s best time to challenge.
I’m sure your view and the world becomes much more colorful than ever before.

Author : Hiroshi