※What I write about here might includes some spoilers that if you are like “no spoilers”, please watch real movie of “Your Lie in April” instead and I’m glad if you come back here to read this article again
I highly recommend this anime to those who love music and to those who lost your way of life.
Actually I recommend this anime to anyone.
Its music, story and animation, all of them are really beautiful.
There might be sad part in which you can’t stand but they tell us what is to live in this world through their music.
I write the article here mainly focusing on Kaori’s side as it is easier to understand the story.
Kousei was once a child prodigy.
His perfect skill of piano made him being called “Human Metronome”.
But suddenly one day, during his performance, he lose his hearing of the sound he plays.
The reason was a deep trauma inside him.
He quit playing the piano since then until he meets a girl Kaori.
Kaori was a violinist and she was the one who encourages him and gave him all the hope once again.
She was really simple and innocent girl.
But she also had a secret that she can’t tell him even if she want.
Their story begin with the meeting in April that Sakura petals whirl in the wind.
This is a beautiful story lie in April brought.
Meaning of tears of Kaori
- The first meeting of Kousei and Kaori
Kousei’s friend Tsubaki who grew up together with Kousei asked him for joining the meeting of Watari who is also a friend of them since they were child.
Kousei and Watari have never met Karori until this time.
She was playing the pianica in response to a request of children who were playing in the park.
And there Kousei comes.
Kaori turns back and her eyes met his.
There were tears in her eyes.
She said she blew pianica a bit strong as an excuse.
But it is not.
First I thought why she was crying when this is very first meeting with Kousei.
But after I watched all the episode I understood the meaning of this tear.
This was the very moment she really wished.
The tear filled with Kaori’s emotion.
There was no way she can stop the tears flowing down.
- Kaori begs Kousei to play the piano as an accompanist with her at a musical contest
Kaori asks Kousei to play the piano as an accompanist with her at a musical contest but Kousei turns it down saying he can’t play the piano as he can’t hear the sound of piano he plays anymore.
And he had been staying away from the piano for several years because of the trauma.
He kept turning down the request of Kaori and the very day of the contest comes.
He was in a school roof and Kaori was still looking for him even on the very day.
She finally finds Kousei and did an axe kick on the head of Kousei.
Sorry, when she made a pose after axe kick, I really laughed.
Anyway, first Kaori was joking and says him to be her accompanist.
But she came to crying in the end, it was not a joke at all.
Why she persisted in Kousei, went so far as cry?
She said “Please support me, help me who is becoming crushed” in her tear.
This was the first moment she asked Kousei for something seriously while she was always the one who order him things in a casual situation.
I understood she was also the one who had a big pressure, she just didn’t show it consciously until this time.
But later on, I understood this tear of Kaori was not only that.
She had no time.
She might never her dream of playing the music with Kousei come true if she lose this chance.
This tear was filled with her wish not only for her want to be supported but her best wish for a long long time.
Why mother of Kousei was so strict?
Kousei was called “Human Metronome” when he was a child.
It’s all because of the teaching of Kousei’s mother who was a professional Pianist.
But she was so strict to Kousei that Kousei had bruises on his body.
It goes too far.
When he was 11, at a contest, he plays beautiful piano that was not metronomic sound with perfect rhythm at all but filled with many thanks for her mother.
This was the first time he showed his emotional music to her mother.
But after contest, she punished him hitting Kousei with her stick.
And this was the first moment he resisted his mother in his whole life saying “I wish you would just die”
It is understandable.
But why mother was so hard on him?
Just from her emotion of angry when he didn’t play perfect music?
It was not.
She really loved Kousei from the heart and that was also the reason.
She knew she doesn’t have much time to live that she had to make Kousei a perfect Pianist for himself after her death.
He can live anywhere without her if he became a perfect Pianist.
She was very nice mother before she knew her life was not long.
But, no matter what, she had to hardened herself even if she was disliked.
If I add my opinion, hitting is not good even in that situation.
He was even bleeding from the head when she hit after a contest.
There must be another way without hitting to teach him piano.
This is not good and the moment I was conscious of this is a story of anime.
But I also want to add this might be author’s intention when he also knew this is very bad and going too far.
Because I have to say there are certainly parents who do same kind of thing to their children only for their wishes even if it is not so harsh like this.
Author wanted to show something to them through Kousei and his mother.
This is just my opinion that I don’t know if author really thought like this.
Word “Kimi” when Kaori calls Kousei
Kaori didn’t call Kousei “Arima-kun” or “Kousei-Kun” when she was alone with Kousei.
In Japanese there are many ways to call others such as “Kimi”, “Anata”, “Omae” while English is “You”.
If you were called “Kimi” by someone, it might sound like a bit cold although it is refined word.
The meaning of “Kimi” changes depends on the relationship with the person, its nuance, tone, etc.
Why she didn’t call him in his first name or family name?
I think it is because Kousei was special to Kaori.
Special person to Kaori.
She uses “Kimi” when she ask him his opinion and tells him what she thinks about him.
Because what she wants to know or what she thinks about is Kousei Arima himself, not anyone else.
Then you might think calling his first name or family name is same.
But if she use it, the meaning of the word that contained her feeling weakened in this situation.
Satsuki and Watari calls him Kousei but she can’t call him like them as Kousei himself was special one.
If she call Kousei-kun or Arima, it is same word with Satsuki and Watari call even if there is special feeling of her.
It is different feeling of Satsuki and Watari call him in a casual situation.
To Kaori Arima Kousei was special one she can call “Kimi”
Only when she wanted Kousei to understand himself or wanted to have himself understand her, she added the word “Arima Kousei-kun” after “Kimi”
Her word “Kimi” had very special meaning to Kaori.
The way Kaori chose was different from Takeshi and Emi chose
Takshi and Emi were the ones that were impressed with Kousei’s piano and had a big reason to keep playing the piano.
Kaori, Takshi and Emi were in the same hall when Kousei performed his piano at a contest.
At that time, Kaori and Takeshi has a big target to play the piano.
They chase Kousei’s back since then.
But Kaori was the only one who decided to stop playing Piano then.
She chose the way to perform on the same stage with Kousei, not chasing his back.
Since then Kousei was the special one to Kaori, not rival to compete but special one.
Joint performance of Kousei and Kaori in the last scene
Kousei was not in the mood to play the piano at all in front of piano at a very important contest that decides his life after his graduation of school.
It’s all because of Kaori’s disease.
She was the last hope to play and live for him but her condition got worse.
She decided to make a big decision that carries risk of her life finally, that is, to undergo surgery on the very day Kousei performs at a contest.
He holds his head in his hands in front of the piano and audience surprises to see it, thinking what’s happening to him?
Then Tsubaki who came to see his performance made a big sneeze in spite of herself and that caught his attention.
He notices he was not alone he had his friends such as Tsubaki and Watari.
There were also his good rivals Takeshi and Emi.
His new piano teacher Seto, too.
He noticed everyone watching him and he was supported by people around him.
That makes him start to play the piano.
Now the sound he makes was not metronome or monotone.
It was colorful, it was filled with all the emotions he holds inside him.
Everyone caught their breathes to see his performance and to listen to the sound he makes.
He tells Kaori in his mind “I’m not going to leave you alone” “Reach her with all the emotions inside me”
When he wished strongly, Kaori appears in front of him with a violin.
If this was a usual scene, he must have been really happy with Kaori beside him.
But his face was distorted the moment he saw her.
That was the moment he realized everything.
Kaori plays the violin happily while Kousei plays the piano enduring the overwhelming sorrows.
But when she looked into Kousei’s eyes, he got energy again and enjoy the moment of performance with Kaori alone.
It looked like Kaori and Kousei enjoy the music from the heart as musicians.
It was really beautiful scene with the powder snow in the clear sky.
When the music comes to end, he notices she is disappearing on the stage.
He shouts “Wait” “Don’t leave me” “Don’t leave me alone without you”
But she disappears with the burst of light.
There was a big drop of tear in her eye when she turned back to look at Kousei once again.
She came here for Kousei to say “Good Bye”
It was so sad scene but really beautiful scene at the same time.
Kaori was always beside him even when she leave the world.
Kaori often hum the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”
Kousei often looked up at the starring sky when he was with someone else and wondered how the sky looks if he looked up at the sky with Kaori.
The light she shed just before disappearing was the light of star.
She became the twinkling star that illuminates Kousei forever.
Last letter from Kaori
She left a letter for Kousei.
It says she knew him already when she was at 5 when she saw his performance at a contest.
It was the moment she decided to play violin to perform with Kousei someday in the future.
The moment he became the object of her admiration.
But she tells Kousei “You’re an awful person” in the letter.
Because she was changed her life by Kousei’s performance but he quit playing the piano on the course.
Time passes, when she entered a junior high, she happened to find Kousei once again in the same school.
She was so happy to know that but there was no space for her to approach Kousei as there are always Satsuki and Watari beside him.
When she found her life is not long, she decides to do everything she want, not to bring the regret to heaven.
She wore contact lenses instead of glasses, changed her hair style, performed violin as she want ignoring the music score that always bossed her around.
That’s the moment her world became colorful.
And then, she tells a single lie.
That is “she likes Watari”.
That was the lie she approaches Kousei and the lie brought Kousei before her.
I think it was the meaning of her tears when she met him face to face first time during her play of pianica in the park.
She tells “I’m glad, it’s you, as I imagined”
She often used the phrase “I’m OK with you as a replacement” to hide the real emotion.
In this letter, she didn’t hide her real emotion anymore.
And finishes the word “Arima Kousei-kun, Kimi ga Suki Desu (I like you), Kimi ga Suki Desu (I like you), Kimi ga Suki Desu (I like you)”
This is the first time she told him in her word to tell Kousei how much she loves him.
She used both the name “Arima Kousei” and “kimi”
This is the word directed at Kousei, her special one, not anyone else.
She used I like you because if she used “I love you” the nuance it holds differs.
In Japanese, “I like you” is almost same meaning as “I love you” but it is not natural to use “I love you” here , especially for young people such as teenagers.
Her “I like you” that repeated 3 times meant more than “I love you” there.
When I saw Kaori’s tear in her eye in April in first episode, I had a bit sad feeling.
Because it was April she appeared before Kousei and the tear in her eye while the title is “Your Lie in April”
I thought it means this meeting itself might becomes a kind of a lie in the end.
Although it was all about Kaori’s lie of “I like Watari-kun” or there might be other connotations, too in the title.
I think most people wished Kaori to survive the disease.
Like wasn’t there another way Kaori survive, was that best ending?
But I have to say her death must be must-thing in “Your Lie in April”
I also really wished Kaori to live and how it became a happy ending if so.
But her death was the one made “Your Lie in April” as “Your Lie in April”.
Her death was so sad and heart-broken thing but I think most important thing is the thing beyond it.
All the people, Kousei, Kaori, Statsuki, Watabe, Emi, Takeshi are living their life to the fullest even if there are pain, sadness, fear.
“Once we meet somebody, we can no longer be alone” Kousei told.
Kousei never regretted the meeting with Kaori even if the last was like that.
Their lives tell us most important thing we sometimes forget.